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Hi Reader

This week’s newsletter (and my LinkedIn post) is all about something I preach to my coaching clients all the time — it’s okay to be inspired by others, but comparison? Not so much.

And yet, there I was, doing exactly that.

In the first weeks of my MBA program, I caught myself asking classmates about their scores on assignments and quizzes — like some unofficial ranking committee. In my defence (and I love a good defence), Brene Brown says in Atlas of the Heart that social comparison often happens outside of our awareness. We don’t even realize we’re doing it — until we do.

Here’s the thing: Comparison isn’t actually an emotion, but it sure knows how to stir up all sorts of big feelings — the kind that messes with your confidence, your relationships, and your sense of self-worth. At its core, comparison is all about how we think we rank — and if there’s ever a place built for ranking, it’s an academic program. We use those little moments of “How did you do?” not just to measure our current success but also to predict our future potential.

But here’s where it gets even trickier — there are two types of comparison:

• Upward comparison — where you feel “not enough” compared to others.
• Downward comparison — where you compare to someone doing “worse” to make yourself feel better.

The funny (and slightly frustrating) part? Both types can leave you feeling good or bad. So, basically, no matter which direction you compare, it’s a bit of an emotional gamble.

And let me tell you — when I found myself stuck in compare-and-despair mode, it wasn’t doing me (or my motivation) any favours.

But here’s the good news — you get to choose what you do with it.

I made the decision to stop asking about everyone else’s results and started comparing my work to… well, my own. How do my results make me feel? Am I happy with them? What’s one thing I could tweak to improve?

I started comparing myself to the person in the mirror!

That shift made all the difference. I stopped playing the ranking game and started focusing on my own progress. Not only did my results start improving, but I also felt more connected to my classmates — and, more importantly, to myself.

So, next time you catch yourself falling into the comparison trap, remember this: it’s totally normal. You’re human. But you also get to decide how you react to it.

Comparison might sneak in — but you’re the one holding the remote.

Sending you love from Canada 🇨🇦

Peggy
xo
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P.S. Hit the reply button if you could use some clarity with your own progress I'll be here to cheer you to the finish line 🏁