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Hi Reader,

I’m not going to lie… I’m NOT always motivated to do the things I need to do to become the person I want to be.

Wow. That was a mouthful.

I’m pretty sure I couldn’t say that five times quickly in a row 😂

But then I started wondering: am I actually motivated by the person I want to become? Or am I sometimes more motivated by the person I don’t want to become?

And yes, I’m sure a psychologist could explain the difference in great detail. Intrinsic motivation, extrinsic motivation, approach motivation, avoidance motivation… you know, the works.

But in all fairness, I think it’s a great question.

Am I moving towards something, or am I moving away from something?

I was pondering exactly that while doing some strength training the other morning. And, just as I was probably trying to convince myself that one more set was an excellent idea, I looked through the gym window.

A lady came out of the apartment building across from me. In her gown and slippers, on her way to the smoking corner. First thing in the morning. No judgement here, just an observation!

But something about that little scene stopped me.

Not because I know anything about her. I don’t know what she wants from life, what her goals are, or even what that cigarette does for her. Maybe it’s her quiet moment before the day starts. Maybe it helps her relax. Maybe she was thinking, Look at that crazy woman lifting weights at this hour 😆

But watching her made something very clear about me.

I want to grow older in the healthiest way I possibly can.

I want to be able to do the things I love ten, twenty, hopefully even thirty years from now. I want to hike, sail, travel, explore and say yes to things without my body immediately filing an official complaint.

And I don’t mean only physically.

It’s also why I meditate and journal. Why I read. Why I keep learning and apparently can’t stop myself from signing up for one course after another.

Oh boy. There’s another Backyard Gossip right there 🫣

So yes, I know what I’m working towards.

Which brings me to the annoying part…

If we know what we want, why is it still sometimes so damn difficult to make the choices that will get us there?

Why do I sometimes have to negotiate with myself to go to the gym when I know why I want to be there?

Why is the choice that serves Future Me not automatically the choice Present Me feels like making?

Maybe that’s where the other side of motivation becomes useful.

Perhaps sometimes I’m doing that strength training because I can picture the person I want to become. And sometimes I’m doing it because I can picture the person I don’t want to become.

Maybe we need both, something to walk towards and something that reminds us why we started walking in the first place.

Although preferably not in slippers 😆

Chat soon,

Peggy 🌿

P.S. What motivates you more: the person you’re becoming, or the person you really don’t want to be?

Backyard Gossip | Stories about life, business & the spaces in between