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Hi Reader,

Last week I left you with a slightly annoying question: if we know what we want, why is it sometimes still so difficult to make the choices that will get us there?

Well, apparently I have some thoughts about that 😏

You might not know this, unless you’ve done some serious scrolling through my LinkedIn profile, but I’ve been working with NHA in the Netherlands for almost 17 years, guiding students through self-paced courses on leadership, coaching and business.

One of the courses I guide is called Persoonlijke Effectiviteit. The literal English translation would be Personal Effectiveness, which sounds rather terrible 😂, but basically it’s about becoming better at doing the things that move you towards the life you actually want to live.

And I love seeing what happens when people start figuring out what their values are, what gives them energy, what takes energy away, and what they might want to do differently.

But there’s one little word I see ALL the time: should.

I should exercise more. I should eat healthier. I should spend less time on social media. I should make more time for myself. I should…

And you’d be surprised how often people write “I should” rather than “I want to” or “I am going to.”

Just look at these three:

I should walk more.​
​I want to walk more.​
​I am going to walk more.

Do you feel the shift in energy?

If not, please unsubscribe 🤣

No seriously, for me there is a HUGE difference.

I should walk more feels like: Yeah, I know. You’re probably right. But to be honest, I don’t really care enough to do anything about it.

I want to walk more already feels different. There’s an intention behind it, and you can see something I would like to change.

But I am going to walk more? Now we’re talking. You've made a decision.

Of course, that still doesn’t mean you've actually put your shoes on and walked out the door 😆

And I think that’s where last week’s question becomes interesting. Most of the time, we already know what we “should” do. We know exercise is good for us, we know which task we’ve been avoiding, we know the conversation we need to have, and we know spending another 45 minutes scrolling through social media probably isn’t moving us towards the life or business we say we want.

Knowing isn’t usually the problem.

Somewhere between “I should” and “I am going to”, we have to make a decision. And then somewhere between “I am going to” and actually doing it, we have to take action.

Maybe that’s why “should” bothers me so much. It can make us feel as though we’re working on something simply because we’ve acknowledged that it needs to change.

But acknowledging isn’t deciding, and deciding isn’t doing 😏

So perhaps there’s a little experiment for this week. Catch yourself saying “I should…” and then ask yourself: Do I actually want to?

Because if the answer is no, maybe that’s interesting too. And if the answer is yes, perhaps it’s time to change the sentence to:

I am going to…

And then, you might actually say... I DID it. 😏

Chat soon,

Peggy 🌿

P.S. What’s one “I should…” you’ve been carrying around that could either become an “I am going to…” ?

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